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       Leadership Realities: The Untold Truth That Leaders And People In Power Need To Know   





Executive Coaching Articles In this issue


Executive Coaching Resources In this issue

Special Global Leadership Invitation

Chinese Leadership: What's the Same and What Has Changed

A Simple Tip for Overcoming Fear of Rejection - Feature article by Michael Neill co-founder of Successmadefun.com


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  Special  Global Leadership invitation  


***There are still some seats left***
Be sure to join me for my next webcast entitled "Leading with Grit, Gravitas and Grace"

 When:  August 29, 2006 9:00AM PST
 Cost: Free

What is it that makes you sound as if you’re at the top of your game and ready to move ahead in leadership? The way you communicate! Leaders all over the world show they have what it takes by demonstrating their perseverance, wisdom and engagement skills in what they say and how they say it. 
This webcast will touch the major ways that leaders around the world can show their abilities.  To prepare for this event watch and listen to leaders in your organizations and in your countries. Observing leaders on television and listening to them on radio will also be useful  Be prepared to ask questions during the webcast.
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Chinese Leadership: What's the Same and What Has Changed


After sixteen days in China, I left with two powerful reminders of my time there: a bad case of the flu and a new understanding of Chinese leadership styles. Twenty years ago, I lived in China and I've gone back regularly since then. This time I was part of a trade delegation of business, education and political leaders from Houston, Texas. We were able to meet with our counterparts in schools, government and business. We even met with the Chinese National Offshore Oil Company (CNOOC) with whom I worked two decades ago as part of ARCO Oil and Gas Company.

Back then, I learned that the Chinese leadership ideal is that of a good and caring father or mother. Talking to CNOOC leaders recently, I found that this is still true. If you ask Chinese young people about leadership, they reflect on the lessons they learned in their childhoods from their parents -- their first leadership role models.

A parental ideal of leadership is also the Confucian view. Through this dominant philosophical system, the Chinese have been taught that a good boss cares for his or her work family while a good follower is loyal to a work parent and obeys him or her the way you would a father or mother. In fact, a good employee will work to make the boss look good and be successful. However, that ideal view of leaders and employees as family is waning in China and elsewhere in Asia.

Worldwide, the number one reason for employees to leave their jobs is their relationship with their bosses. In the late 1990's a survey of Chinese employees ranked how much they appreciated leaders from different nationalities. Surprisingly, Philippine leaders came out on top, while different nationalities of Chinese leaders got the lowest scores. What respondents talked about was how much it mattered when their bosses paid attention to them, their development and their careers. More caring was more important than more money.

As I talked with dozens of young people in Shanghai, Dalian and Beijing, I saw that some things haven't changed in terms of the expectations they have of their leaders. Twenty years ago there was, as always, an emphasis on career advancement. Then, as now, husbands and wives often lived apart in different cities or geographic locations. In the past, that was so because of residence restrictions.
Nowadays it is often more about pursuing a career. Years ago the Chinese were just learning about profit and business planning. Now they are eager for the government to be business friendly so that they can all prosper. As always they're eager to learn. Leaders who coach and mentor them are much appreciated.

What has changed is how high and how fast these folks expect to move and progress. China is now like a big learning laboratory. The folks who went away are coming back. Fu Chengyu, the president of CNOOC, is one of them. Mr. Fu holds a masters degree in petroleum engineering from the University of Southern California. He got his leadership and management experience when, earlier in his career, he led the joint management committee overseeing joint ventures with BP (Originally started by ARCO) and Shell. Of course, his English is excellent. He has high ambitions, and well he should. Although he has suffered some disappointments - he is chagrined that his company's bid for Unocal was rebuffed by political pressures in the US -- the lessons of experience have helped him, and others are taking note. Leaders in even state-owned industries are going to management and leadership programs and academic institutions in Asia and the west. They are eager to turn their old institutions and their start-ups into growing concerns.

As foreign connections have become more plentiful and easier for Chinese people to make, the nature of networking and guanxi, or relationships, there has changed. No longer will someone whisper that his or her uncle can turn your electricity off or on if you do business with them. And sadly, no longer do people eagerly take your business card in both hands and cherish the contact. There is more of an attitude of WIFFM, "what's in it for me."

What did you think of this article? I would love to here your feedback!





A Simple Tip for Overcoming Fear of Rejection - Michael Neill ( www.successmadefun.com )


In 1977, an oft quoted poll was done by the New York Times which revealed that a larger percentage of respondents feared public speaking than death. While this makes a kind of logical sense (more people have experienced public speaking than death), it has always seemed to me that the most crippling fear many of us face is our fear of rejection.

Whether it stops us from making a sales call, asking someone on a date, or pursuing the life of our dreams, our survival-based fear of rejection is activated any time we make (or think about making) a request from anyone - this is because the possibility of being rejected is generally real. The person we are selling to may decide not to buy, the person we are asking out may indeed say "no", and the road to the life of our dreams may well be paved with rejection.

As actors, my friends and I face rejection on a daily basis. And like anyone else who sells their product or services for a living, if we don't collect enough rejections, we're unlikely to make any money. (In fact, an actress friend recently pointed out that if she wasn't getting rejected at least ten
times a week, she began to panic about how slow things were!)

A little while back, I came up with a simple trick that works wonders in easing the fear of rejection and allowing us to put our best foot forward when we need to make a request. You can use it the next time you're feeling nervous before a sales call, job interview, meeting, or even a blind date...

Today's Experiment:
(This is ideal to use any time you need to make a request of someone, or when you are going to meet with someone whose approval is important to you. I use the example of a meeting - feel free to substitute phone call/request/interview or whatever your situation is!)

1. A few minutes before your meeting, begin to focus on the people in your life who love you. If you are religious you can also focus on God's love for you; the more humanistically inclined can add in the love of a child, a partner, or a pet. (If you can't think of anybody or anything who loves or has loved you, there are probably more important things for you to work on in your life than getting better at making sales calls!)

2. Continue to focus on the the awareness (and the associated feeling) that you are loved and begin to think about the impending meeting. Notice that you may still want what you want from the other people, but you do not need them to love you. You are already loved.

3. Bring this awareness and feeling with you into your meeting. If at any point during the meeting you begin to feel unduly nervous, you can simply go back to this awareness and feeling of being loved.

Q: Why does this work so well?

A: Imagine you're back in cave man times. Your safety came from your belonging to the tribe. If you got banished from the tribe (i.e. rejected), you were suddenly alone left to fend for yourself. This was generally followed by being eaten by some wild animal or killed by members of another
tribe - both excellent reasons to fear rejection!

While it is far less likely nowadays that being rejected will result in our being eaten or killed, the survival instinct is still there. By calming this ancient part of our brain (by flooding it with the feeling of connection and belonging that comes with the awareness of being loved), we are better able
to tap into the full resources of our mind. It is almost like sending a message to your brain that says "Don't worry if this person or tribe does not accept you - you are already safe!"

Bonus Tip:
The next time you are deciding on a course of action which involves at least
one other person, try asking yourself the following question first:

If I already had all the love in the world, how would I do this differently?

Have fun, learn heaps, and when in doubt, remember that you are loved.

Until next time,

You Can Have What You Want Make sure you check out Michael's great new book
"You Can Have What You Want"
available for preorder on amazon.com

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