Executive Coaching Expertise- Dr. Karen Otazo

In 2005, Boeing CEO Harry Stonecipher resigned following revelations of a liaison with a female employee. An investigation by internal and external legal counsel had determined his actions to be inconsistent with the Boeing Code of Conduct. Stonecipher’s board was forced to conclude that his actions showed poor judgment, calling his ability to lead into question. After 32 years of company service, Stonecipher was asked to leave.

“You don’t get your meat where you get your potatoes” is an old maxim about office relationships. It’s a crass way of saying: avoid intimate encounters on the job. This advice is particularly important for top-level leaders, who must be seen to set the standards for others to follow. The Boeing Code, for example, demands unimpeachable professional and personal behavior from a CEO. It’s no accident that this sounds like the guidelines for a US president. The higher you go as a leader the tougher the rules.

You may well be thinking to yourself: I’m a single person; I’m too busy for a big social life. Why shouldn’t I enjoy the company of a like-minded person that I meet at work? Well, stop right there! It’s true that there have always been workplace romances, and most likely there always will be. A high percentage of people meet their future spouses at work. But once you reach a certain level in the hierarchy, it’s in your best interests to resist the temptation. There is little room for error. Should you find it impossible to resist, then at least have the self-control to ensure that one of you resigns, or moves to another organization, before the news goes public.

The fact is that, as a leader, you are seen to have considerable power and influence over others. Showing a special interest in anyone can lead to accusations of favoritism at best, especially if any promotion or pay-rise might be linked to it, and sexual harassment at worst. It need hardly be said that these are huge “no-nos” for a leader. In the past, concern about this led many capable women to be barred from jobs requiring close working with older, more powerful men, or barred from participation in off-site conferences! These circumstances may have relaxed, but the principle hasn’t.

You are also too visible to be able to conduct an intimate relationship with others. Colleagues and employees will spot things that would pass unnoticed in others, making it impossible to keep a liaison secret. Stonecipher’s indiscretion was swiftly noticed, and revealed to the board via an anonymous letter. Such visibility means that not only should you not conduct a relationship, but you should beware of showing any hint of affection or intimacy. ‘Friendly’ or warm behavior can easily be misconstrued, leading to trouble. Sure, be compassionate and kind, but not super-friendly. This is particularly important with employees from some other cultures, like China, where public touching between genders is viewed as an indiscrete act.

To protect your own reputation, and that of your organization, you need to be committed to strong ethical leadership. Whether what you’re doing is improper or not, your appearance must be above suspicion.

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Not much is written about sexual politics in the workplace, and to a certain extent, further reading is not required - the point is a simple one; don't do it! However, in the contemporary working climate, it may prove edifying, even interesting, to learn more about the subject of sexual harassment; what constitutes it and how to deal with it.